No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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