When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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