North Korea, Best Korea!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
