So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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