Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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