he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
