I'm jealous of your bromance
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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