only you would photoshop your dick
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
