It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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