My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
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Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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