You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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