I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
