Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
