So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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