He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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