Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize