Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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