she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
