Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
