The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
