I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
