I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Im part way to drunk.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
