I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
