talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
