my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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