Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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