the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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