i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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