I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize