No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
