So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
