her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
