My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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