i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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