you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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