I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
