im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
