quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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