seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
