Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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