haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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