I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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