So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize