I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
