i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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