So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
