Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Holy sore nipples Batman
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
