If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
