You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I believe in your delicious
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
