Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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