now i know why i became what i already was.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
