Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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