If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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