yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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