I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
