So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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