so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
